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There’s always something special about the holiday season. Uplifting music, twinkling lights, treasured family gatherings, and kind gestures surround us. No matter how you choose to celebrate, it seems that people everywhere come closer together. It is a time filled with heightened emotions — both happy and sad. For some, including those waiting to become parents or grieving the loss of a child through miscarriage, it can be a difficult time as well. During these struggles, it is important to remember what the season represents and look to the future with hope.
I’ll never forget a Christmas concert we had at school when I was around 10 years old. The lights dimmed, and the entire class sang “Silent Night” to the gentle glow of flashlights. It was magical! Next, we sang “Let There Be Peace on Earth”. The music and words touched my heart in a way no other song ever had. I felt peaceful, uplifted, and connected. During my childhood, the holidays brought an innocent sense of wonder and amazement, whether eagerly waiting for Santa’s arrival, admiring the glistening lights and decorations in our neighborhood, or listening to miraculous stories of the true meaning of Christmas. What I never imagined is that my emotions then were only the tip of the iceberg and that one day the word “miracle” would take on a whole new meaning.
As an adult, I suffered two miscarriages and struggled for years to have a baby. I spent several Christmases feeling like something was missing from my life. I still enjoyed the holiday, but it seemed to be sprinkled with a touch of sadness as I hoped and prayed to one day start a family. Every time we would decorate the tree, bake cookies, sing carols, or gather with loved ones, I pictured what it would be like if my husband and I had a child to share all of it with. This deep, persistent longing was even more profound as I watched happy families enjoying the beauty of the holiday season together. Why not us? Where was our child?
Then one November, it finally happened: We got a call from our adoption agency that an expectant mom had chosen us. There was a time I wondered if that moment would ever come, and now, less than six weeks until Christmas, it had. I experienced so many emotions that day — excitement, anticipation, fear. But most of all, that last childless Christmas was filled with hope. Even though the future was still uncertain, I knew that everything would soon change. It all became real to me and no longer seemed so far out of reach.
Just two months later, on a snowy day in January, I held our precious baby in my arms for the first time. There are no words to adequately describe that moment. All I can say is that it was surreal. Much like the holidays of my youth, I was filled with an incredible sense of wonder and amazement. Seeing her sweet face and delicate tiny features made it abundantly clear: Life is a miracle. Every baby born on this earth is a miracle. But what was most miraculous of all is that somehow this child, out of the thousand of kids that are born each day, had found her way to us.
As you navigate through the busy and often stressful holiday season, remember that miracles are all around us. You might find them in the words to a song, an uplifting story you read, or an example of someone else’s strength and endurance through trying times. And one day, through the miraculous blessing of adoption, you will find the child that is meant to be a part of your family.
Wishing you a miracle this holiday season!