407: What My Adoptive Parents Did - and Didn't - Do Well

So many parents end up wishing they'd had a time machine to go back and know earlier what we didn’t know then about parenting, which is the whole premise of this podcast – to take the long view. With adoptive parenting, that wish can be even stronger, because so much we “know” about the adoption part of parenting doesn’t actually turn out to be as true and as well-functioning as we think. Much of the conventional wisdom about adoption turns out not great for adoptees. By the time we figure that out – often through crisis – the moments of opportunity to be on a healthier trajectory may have passed.

Hearing adoptees tell us what works well for them, and not so well for them is a gift to us. With us this month is Greg Gentry, an adoptee who has reflected on his own journey of adoptedness, and who hears stories of other adoptees through his connection with Fireside Adoptees, an online group to help adoptees thrive. Greg interviewed me last year there, as a means of helping adoptees get a glimpse into why their adoptive parents might be the way we are, and I have the pleasure of interviewing Greg here now, to give adoptive parents the experience of entering a time machine, of consulting a sort of crystal ball orienting on the future to lend insights to what helps and what can hurt adoptees -- before it's too late.

Show Notes

Ep106: Coming out of the Fog with Sara Easterly

Ep302: Two Baby Scoop Era Adoptee Playwrights

Ep403: Two Late-Discovery Adoptees

Book: You Should Be Grateful by Angela Tucker (mentioned)

Fireside Adoptees on YouTube and Instagram

Fireside Adoptees on Facebook

Adoptees Connect on Facebook and website

Greg on Instagram: @greggentry22

Transcript

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About this Podcast

Lori Holden (The Open-Hearted Way to Open Adoption: Helping Your Child Grow Up Whole) brings to you an array of articulate and thought-provoking guests with lived experience in adoption, each with valuable insights to share about the all-encompassing journey of parenting an adopted person from babyhood to toddlerhood to school age to teenage -- and ultimately to adulthood. Join us as we explore Adoption: The Long View.

Named a Top 25 Adoption Podcast