Protecting Your Family From Adoption Scams

If you are trying to adopt and putting you and your family online, don’t be surprised when you are contacted by adoption scammers. If you are new to adoption, the very idea of an adoption scam may sound absurd. But this is the internet and conversing with strangers online should always be done with caution. Scams are a very real thing and many unsuspecting adoptive parents have seen their adoption dreams totally derailed by them. Adoption scammers will waste your time, emotions, and finances. So you must be ready. The good news is that with the right attitude and training, you can avoid a great number of the tricks and techniques that scammers will attempt. You can stay healthy and focused on your adoption journey and this podcast is the perfect place to start. Adopting is hard enough already! Empower and educate yourself now and avoid becoming a victim of adoption scams in the future.

Two Types of Adoption Scams

In adoption, you will encounter two types of scammers: emotional and financial.

The Emotional Scammer

Increasingly, emotional scammers are the dominant form of scammers that will reach adoptive parents. Emotional scammers will attempt to make an emotional connection with you. They may act like real birth parents and ask a lot of the right questions. But they have no intention of placing a child with your family and most likely are not pregnant at all. They are in it to fill a psychological void of theirs by taking you on an emotional journey, usually full of a lot of drama. Then, after days and weeks of communication, they will abandon you, whether it is on the phone or even worse, at the hospital. Adoptive parents who go through this are often left shattered and filled with mistrust and loss. Many will quit trying to adopt altogether. Gabby Watson, the most prolific and notorious adoption scammer, is a classic example of an emotional adoption scammer.

The Financial Scammer

A financial scam of course involves money. While some of this allowed to help support a birth mother, it must always be done correctly and with the supervision and approval of your adoption team. Apps like Venmo and Zelle make it easy to fall for this kind of fraud.

Common Red Flags

Please note that a red flag does not always equal a scam. However, here are some common red flags you will want to watch out for:

• Inconsistencies in her story
• Refusal to speak to your agency or attorney
• Trying to turn you against your attorney or agency
• Refusal to provide proof of pregnancy
• Being dishonest

Ways To Protect Yourself from Adoption Scams

Recognize messaging clues
In emails or direct messages, watch out for suspicious or generic language indicating that person may not live in the United States or that it may be a cut-and-paste message sent to many people.

Be wary of false urgency or drama
Scams often create a false sense of urgency. If you are getting pressured or feel like you are getting swept away in drama, take a hard look at that and don’t be afraid to put on the brakes.

Watch out for situations that sound too good to be true
If you approached right after posting your profile, be very careful. Many scammers like Gabby Watson love to pick on brand-new adoptive families because they are often unaware of her. If you are approached about twins or with other details that sound too good to be true, it is probably because they are.

Never Provide Personal Information
Do not list personal info on your adoption profile. Do not provide it to someone who is asking. Do not provide money unless your adoption professional team has approved this.

Remain Cautiously Optimistic
Outwardly, you should respond with kindness and openness. But inside, you must always remember that trust must be earned. Protect your emotions at all times. Don’t lose sight of the fact that you know almost nothing about the person you are communicating with.

Who Is Not an Adoption Scammer

• Being flaky or disappearing for a long time does not make her an adoption scammer.
• A troubled young person who desperately needs financial assistance is not necessarily a scammer.
• Talking with or choosing another family over yours does not make her an adoption scammer.
• Changing her mind about adoption and keeping her baby does not make her a scammer.

Looking Forward

As the internet has grown and evolved, so has the complexity of adoption scams. Stolen ultrasounds, forged documentation, and stolen identities were unheard of years ago. Now they are commonplace. Apps make it very easy to send money to someone you don't even know. AI-generated fakes of one kind or another are already here. But even with all these and future technologies, adoptive parents who are vigilant, cautious, and quick to involve their professional team can remain protected and safe.

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